Give your relationship the attention it deserves.
Sometimes a relationship needs time for focused attention. For couples, a private relationship retreat can often make a profound difference in helping you on the path to create or rebuild a strong, lasting loving connection — in just a matter of days. For cofounders or business partners, relationship coaching can make a world of difference in helping you get on the same page, expanding your capacity for effective collaboration, and creating the foundation for culture that ultimately starts with your leadership team. For family relationships, such as between adult children and their parents, or between adult siblings, a relationship retreat can offer the opportunity and gift to repair, rebuild and nourish. Coming to a deeper understanding and reconnecting with the best in yourselves and each other, together — whatever your relationship — is truly an investment in what matters most.
Unlike “marathon therapy” or exhausting intensives, my private Renew & Reconnect retreats combine work with play to help you nourish and restore yourselves and your relationship. During our scheduled time together, we’ll dive deep and help shift longstanding dynamics that have kept you from feeling supported and as connected or understood as you’d like. Our schedules intentionally build in some downtime too, making space for R&R, self-care and time to connect (or recharge on your own) in a non-structured way. It’s valuable to have time to nourish yourselves and integrate all that you do during our time together.
I work with relationships between life partners (married or not), business partners, and family members. And some couples or relationships check several of those boxes! People of all sexual orientations & gender identities are warmly welcome, and I have extensive experience working with a diverse clientele.
Private relationship retreats are ideal for those who:
♦ Need relationship help that is discreet and efficient
♦ Don’t have time in your busy schedules for weekly sessions, or live in multiple locations which makes a regular appointment difficult
♦ Prefer to have focused time for relationship work without the distractions and pressures of daily life
♦ Are in long-distance relationships/partnerships or travel frequently
♦ Have concerns about privacy due to high-profile jobs
♦ Want to nourish yourselves and support your relationship with a retreat setting for some deep relationship care
♦ Are in crisis and need to get fast results
♦ Don’t have access to expert-level help where you are
Couples and other pairs who get the most out of private retreats tend to be motivated, open-minded, and interested in personal and relationship growth. With compassionate curiosity, we’ll be exploring old patterns that have you two caught sometimes, and it will take a willingness from both of you to step into the unknown and find a new path forward. You don’t need to be fluent in the language of emotions or mindful self-awareness, but it helps to have an open mind.
Create a relationship you want to come home to.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Happens at a Private Relationship Retreat?
The description below reflects the general shape of what to expect for a 3-4 day private relationship retreat.
Opening
We’ll begin our time together on the evening of your arrival, with a session together where we’ll create a container for the journey ahead. During this first conversation, we’ll take some time to dive into your history, and the reason for you choosing to do an intensive now. With compassion and curiosity, we’ll begin to make space for each of your perspectives, needs, hopes and fears as the our first meeting of the assessment phase of our retreat (prior to the start, you will have each completed a detailed questionnaire in order to help us get started efficiently). Our first evening together will end with some reflections and intention-setting.
Unfolding
On our first full day, you’ll each meet with the me individually as part of our assessment, and then we’ll reconvene all together to review what’s been uncovered and to lay out our pathway forward. With greater understanding of your challenges, strengths and goals (individually and collectively), I’ll begin with helping you two get onto the same team to address any current or longstanding problems.
Aligning
Our emphasis is on getting to root issues to help you create positive, lasting change, and helping each of you approach the relationship from the best in yourself. Even with past hurts, we’ll be working in present time, allowing for a kind of reflection and communication that might not have been possible before. My approach is grounded and compassionate while still being practical and straightforward. We’ll probably laugh a bit too (because it’s important not to take ourselves too seriously, amiright?).
Expanding
With a direct focus on your goals and unique situation, we’ll befriend whatever’s going on, and start to move beyond blame and into the space where empathy and understanding and new possibilities can begin. For couples and family relationships, I’ll be working with you in a proven 9-step model to foster lasting relationship growth and repair. Depending on your needs, other tools may be incorporated as well, to help support you in getting where you want to go, and addressing the core dynamics that need attention.
Deepening
I’ll be bringing my expertise in how to help people rediscover and recreate secure connection in relationship, asking you to bring your courage and an open mind. Old hurts will be addressed and put into context, and I’ll help you start talking to each other in a new way that leads to greater understanding and deeper connection.
What this means in practical terms is that I’ll be helping you both take some risks to listen and share with each other in a new way, to change the music of the dance you’ve been doing, and to learn some new moves. If you’re someone who’s not in touch with their emotions, I’ll help you find language for your experience. I believe that each person’s actions and feelings have a logic to them, sometimes hidden and occasionally out-of-date, but that people can always reconnect to the best in themselves and that change is possible. We’re going to cut through the static, get to what’s really going on, and create room for new possibilities.
Integrating
The final day of your private relationship retreat will continue the work of the previous days, and also include integration to help you take home your new gains. Followup resources will be suggested, and I’ll schedule a time to connect by phone or videoconference for a post-retreat check-in (4-6 weeks later).
I’m committed to helping your retreat be of lasting value to your relationship, and supporting your transition back to “real life”. We’ll celebrate your gains and new discoveries and set intentions about how to carry the work forward when you return home.
What happens between our sessions?
Unscheduled time in the afternoons and evenings are intentionally open for you to relax and nourish yourselves. This is important time to absorb and reflect on the powerful work you’re doing together, though I may sometimes give you low-pressure experiential “homework” to do together. The retreat is an important blend of work and play, effort and rest, and the downtime is a key part of that.
What is the cost and what’s included?
Private retreats and intensive pricing begins at $4500, and varies depending on length and location. Every retreat or couples intensive includes includes an initial 30-minute phone consultation, an optional pre-consultation with your current couples therapist (if relevant), an assessment I’ll have you complete prior to the retreat, the time we meet together during the intensive, and a followup online meeting 4-6 weeks after the retreat (or, optionally, a warm handoff consultation with an ongoing provider of your choice). Travel expenses, lodging, etc, are not included in these fees.
Where do these couples intensives take place?
1. Online (we split each day into 2 meeting blocks to avoid Zoom fatigue)
2. Southern Vermont (my in-person location — you make your own travel and lodging arrangements, and I’m happy to offer recommendations)
3. Anyplace else I can get to that works well for you (I have met clients at a variety of locations, including their homes, in their chosen city/town with a meeting space I arrange for, and at all-inclusive resorts and retreat centers.) This is more of a concierge-level offering and my expenses are paid for by the client, in addition to my regular fees.
Why do an couples therapy intensive rather than ongoing sessions?
If you’re wanting to make major headway in a short period of time, a private relationship retreat or intensive can be like doing months and months of therapy in just a few days. The results can be incredibly transformative, and for some, it’s all they need. For others, a private retreat can be a powerful way to jump-start or re-energize ongoing sessions with an in-person or remote provider.
Some pairs might live in different places or have complicated schedules that make it more appealing to do something intensive and focused. Or there might be a sense of urgency to address a relationship emergency, resolve a difference, or chart a path forward. Perhaps you don’t have anyone local to you who’s at the level of skill you want, or maybe you need a high level of privacy and discretion but don’t want to work online. Or maybe you want to get away from the distractions of daily life and really give your relationship the attention it needs and deserves.
Why not do an intensive rather than ongoing sessions?
Besides the obvious answers of time and money, some people prefer the slow and steady approach and would find it overwhelming to do so much process work in a short time. Additionally, this is not an appropriate option for couples navigating interpersonal violence, major mental health issues, or active substance abuse. If you’re interested in a retreat or intensive but aren’t sure if it’s right for you, let’s connect and we can talk it through.
Couples Therapy Intensive vs Relationship Retreat
What’s the difference? My offering is somewhat of a hybrid, and I use the terms interchangeably. Many couples therapy intensives are scheduled in marathon all-day sessions that are simply too much for many people to process and absorb. My intensives offer focused time to move the needle for your relationship but in a structure and format that is designed to be more spacious and nourishing. That is, more retreat-like. You’re here to work hard and reset, but also to give some good care and feeding to your most important connection. We’ll meet for part of the day, and part of the day is for recharging, reconnecting, and doing whatever feeds your spirits (skiing, hiking, massage, exploring, café time, reading, yoga, etc). This schedule provides an opportunity to practice and integrate what you’re learning, so we could call it a retreat-sytle intensive.
Meet Your Relationship Consultant, Rachel Zamore
Hi, I’m Rachel, and I specialize in helping couples just like you! Couples who want things to be better, but aren’t sure how to get there.
I love helping to create a safe and welcoming space where both people can feel understood and helping them get back onto the same team to strengthen their relationship or find their best path forward.
In your private retreat or couples intensive , I’ll meet you right where you are, without judgment and without blame, to help the two of you begin to hear each other in a new way and start to shift patterns that may no longer be serving you. I’ll help both of you find your voice in a way that the other can be more responsive, and support each of you in discovering a new pathway forward that feels connected and nourishing. I think of my work with you as helping create a relationship you want to come home to and feel really good about. Sometimes there are longstanding challenges or recent hurts that need to be attended to. Sometimes there are new skills that need to be learned and old stories to be healed. Sometimes people aren’t even sure it’s possible to find their way back to loving connection, but they know that they at least need to try. If you’re in for seeing what’s possible, let’s talk.
A little bit about me: I’m a seasoned couples therapist, certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy and Discernment Counseling, and also a practitioner of Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFS level 2). I have an extensive background and training in integrative, embodied, trauma-informed psychotherapy approaches that are both gentle and deeply effective, including Internal Family Systems, Hakomi, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. I also work with individuals and couples as a relationship coach nationwide, with training from the CliniCoach Academy. Learn more about my credentials and approach here.
As featured in
